Thursday, 27 November 2008
Wednesday, 26 November 2008
Monday, 24 November 2008
Sunday, 23 November 2008
Saturday, 22 November 2008
Friday, 21 November 2008
Tuesday, 18 November 2008
Monday, 17 November 2008
- Choose readings and the people to read them, hymns and the ceremony itself. Finalise music to be played during the signing of the register. Draw up order of service draft. Agree with Vicar. Design order of service. Have printed.
- My outfit: fill in the details but the main decisions have been made.
- Check bridesmaids outfits fit them, check shoes fit them. Order jewellery and accessories.
- Meet with crockery lady and decide which items are needed. Pay deposit.
- Finish collecting glass tableware. Decide on table settings and layouts. Find napkins & tablecloths, source ribbons and labels. Make labels.
- Source cheese for the cake. Finish cake toppers
- Source guest book. Make photo display and decide on decorations for marquee
- Make and send the invitations
- Finish website
- Decide on and book transport to and from church to reception. Book transport for guests between church and reception.
- Taste and choose wine, champagne and beer. Sort out glasses.
- Ensure groom purchases clothes for him and ushers and BestMan
- Flowers and buttonholes
- Decide on and book honeymoon
- Design poster to advertise band and DJ. Hire PA system. Sort out transport for equipment.
- Choose and purchase presents
- Choose and purchase wedding bands
- Pray I haven't left anything out...
Considering what this list looked like a few months ago I don't think we're doing too badly... These may be famous last words but for now, I feel vaguely in control just as long as I do not question my choices once they are made.
Shoes by Monsoon
The Westfield trip seemed to be a success. I spent as many hours there as I do at work each day, starting out on my own with very few other shoppers for company, was joined by my Mother after an hour so we picked out several dresses for my sister to try on. She duly arrived and tried things on and dress after dress was rejected.
The dress above was the last one that she tried. I wasn't sure about it on the hanger but I thought it worth a bash. I'm glad I did because on her it looked super flattering and very pretty. Turns out that her boobs in the Monsoon dress I picked first were less "I'm a bridesmaid" more "hello boys" which wasn't the look she, or I, wished her to wear on my wedding day. Turns out the dress above looks sexy and demure at the same time. It also looks a lot better on my little sister than it does on the model above. So, Debenhams, if you're reading, you need some new models. May I suggest my sister?
We then decided we should look for some shoes to match it, whilst the dress was with us. A good plan, as every time I picked up a shoe or sandal I thought would work and then held it up to the dress, it didn't. And then, in Monsoon, I saw the shoes above. I think they match rather than go for overkill.
BestFriend then arrived with my own wedding shoes, which I had forgotten and she had picked up on her way to join us. I took them out of the box and held them up against the bridesmaids dresses. And would you believe it, they match the blue ribbons on the dress exactly.
Friday, 14 November 2008
"I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it" (Voltaire)
Apparently this is not how all married or to-be-married couples think (!) and so yesterdays session was entitled Resolving Conflict. It may have been that we managed to get home and have some supper together first, or that it was simply more interesting or maybe the course is having some effect, but yesterday's session seemed more interesting and helpful than the past 2.
According to the course, people generally behave in one of two ways at the first sign of conflict: that of a rhino (head down, charge at the other person) or that of a hedgehog (curl into a ball and withdraw, prickles out). Apparently the vast majority of couples split down into one of each type. And yes, M and I seem to be no exception to this. The trick to resolving conflict it seems is to assess which kind you are, what causes conflict, how you behave and then try and find a way of supporting each other and reducing inflammatory behaviour. Sounds obvious but I did find the process of assessing what causes conflict and working out how we behave during scenes of conflict (and then how our partner views our behaviour) helpful. M and I are lucky in that we talk a lot anyway and I was already aware of how I behave - despite having less success in changing it - so it did not come as too much of a surprise, but apparently it really does to some couples.
We also had to list things we appreciate about the other and it did surprise me to see that M listed my 'stubborn and determined' attitude as something he appreciated in me, despite me knowing that this, combined with low blood sugar, is almost always the trigger for my shouting. OK, I admit it, I am a rhino.
Last on my list of things I appreciate about M I listed this: "I love it when M brings me a cup of tea in bed". This morning I was woken up by M telling me it was time to get out of bed and that he had moved my phone (alarm clock) to the bedside table. And there, on the bedside table, in my favourite mug, was a cup of tea.
Thursday, 13 November 2008
We actually attended this session last week but it seems to have taken me this long to find a moment to write about it.
This session was called The Art of Communication and, surprise surprise, covered the topics of communication, or talking and listening. Sounds obvious but a lot of people are good at talking and not so good at actually listening to what the other party in the conversation has to say in return. As the presenters showed, for some other people's chat is something to be endured before it is their turn to start speaking again.
So, useful tips inside a marriage or relationship but also useful thoughts to carry into everyday life. We discussed a number of issues surrounding communication but the most useful one, in my opinion, was the plenary when we looked at 'bad habits' such as jumping in and reassuring, giving advice, intellectualising, going off at a tangent, interrupting and so on and realising which ones we are guilty of and then taking steps to work out communication habits which prevent us from using these habits.
I won't go into what M and I discussed and agreed but what I will say is this: next time you are having a conversation, be it with your husband, fiance, boyfriend, friend, Mum or well, whoever, really listen to what they have to say. You might think you want to help them or tell them what to do, or interrupt with something you want to say or just to steer the conversation to a safer or more interesting topic. But try, for once, to really listen and you might be surprised at the result.
Wednesday, 12 November 2008
Bouquet of roses by Marie Labbancz
The roses are much like how I imagine my bouquet to look, except with less ribbon (and it being blue) and without the diamante and pearl rosary, which I am sorry to say that despite allegedly being blessed by the Pope I feel it looks rather tacky. Or perhaps I am just not a diamante sort of girl. But I love the roses.
Tuesday, 11 November 2008
Monday, 10 November 2008
Images by Real Flower Company except top right (by me) and the one underneath that which is Vera Wang.
Sunday, 9 November 2008
Saturday, 8 November 2008
Friday, 7 November 2008
Personally I cannot believe it is already their wedding day and it is November. Only 7 months to go now until my own.
Am off for the weekend now to visit the town of our wedding, catch up with our DJ, meet the Chaplain and visit my parents on the way home to try on my wedding dress again. Last night I bought the most gorgeous cashmere cream cardigan/jacket to wear over the dress in the evening in case it was cold. Reduced from £195 to £25 and it is absolutely adorable. I will share further details and maybe even some photos when I am back next week. We also attended session 2 of the marriage course, so expect an update on that and hopefully I will also get around to the postponed shoe post next week.
Have a good weekend, especially Guilty & Baddie...
Thursday, 6 November 2008
Wednesday, 5 November 2008
Tuesday, 4 November 2008
"Dear American readers, If you are lucky enough to have a vote in the US elections, please use it. Even though the lines may be long, the system chaotic, the weather bad, your feet sore, the pollsters telling you that you don't need to, he'll win anyway...please vote. Thank you. Really, thank you. And I hope that you have a great day."