Friday, 5 June 2009

On feeling gloomy

After a week of glorious sunshine, the weather broke today. It is cloudy and gloomy and chilly and raining. And matches my rather despondent mood entirely. I went to three interviews. I didn't get any of the jobs. Nothing I could have done better, they all were positive in their feedback but simply went with someone with more experience {who was prepared to take a lower salary}. That's the way of the market at the moment.

We're just 8 days out from the wedding and it goes without saying that I am looking forward to it. But the thought of returning to London, happily married but still jobless fills me with dread.

Cornwall in May
{Image by me}

This is what Cornwall looks like in the gloom of early summer. The light still reflects off the water, the water just looks a different colour. When the sky looks like someone has washed their paintbrush in inky water and swooshed it across the clouds, the water looks all at once flat and deep and moody. Even when it clearly isn't. If even in the poorest of lights there is still beauty in the landscape, I can find hope in what seems like a bleak situation. My reflection might not look as clear as it would in the height of a clear summers day, but it is still there. The light that shines might be slightly distorted, but shine it does.


Marie-Ève said...

I completely understand how you're feeling, and really wish you could find yourself a job that suits you! Just don't despair, there will be something that's a good fit for you.

Also keeping my fingers crossed for the weather. Rachel, in the next week, whenever you feel down or stressed or overwhelmed, send me an email and I will do my best to make it better. You were so helpful in the days leading up to my wedding, and I want to promise you it will all be OK in the end.

Kristy said...

That's gorgeous, even if the sky is overcast.

I'm sorry the interviews went nowhere. That's SO frustrating. Hang in there. I'd give you a big hug right now, if I could, and then sit you down for some tea and scones.

Mmmmm, tea and scones. I should go eat lunch...

Hannah Vokes - Director of iced said...

Beautiful photograph! I love the muted colours. Worry not I know you will find something fabulous. Only 5 days to go.... it's going to be wonderful!!!! xxx

east side bride said...

Try not to think about the job thing anymore, lady. Soak up every last minute before the wedding!


blushingjoy said...

I'm kinda in the same boat.. just got back from my holidays and I'm still jobless. But I've decided to just start applying next week and recuperate from the jetlag first. I'd say enjoy your wedding and honeymoon and don't think about it so much for now. Things will work out... :)