Thursday, 28 May 2009

On 'Bridezilla'

{Image by Max Wanger via 100 Layer Cake}

I love this photo; so still, so beautiful. A moment of calm in an otherwise busy day. Reminds me somehow of this image:

{Image of Campbell and his Bluebird at Daytona Beach, artist/source unknown}

The pose of the man reminds me of another painting or photo which is at the back of my mind but I somehow just cannot place it. Perhaps it was from one of our engagement cards.

This time in two weeks we shall leave for the wedding. This morning I logged onto to Twitter and Meg had written this:

"Here is the thing... it's not Bridezilla to cry and yell once or twice, it's human. F* the pressure to be a perfect idie bride. Eff it."

And, I totally agree. So many people have asked me if I've turned into Bridezilla yet. Reassured me that it's ok to turn that way because it's my day. Those are the comments most likely to make me behave that way, if I'm perfectly honest. I'm human. Sometimes things seem insurmountable, other times they don't. Things get done, compromises made, we feel our way along this path. It doesn't make me Bridezilla if occasionally I fall off the path and there is a moment or two of shouting or scrambling to get back onto it.

Wedding planning for me has been broken down into two parts. There is the event planning itself which is hard, wedding or not. People event plan as a full time job. It is a multi-sited event for 100 people over an entire day. There is lots to do. I should think that sometimes, just sometimes, event planners shout a little because something has gone wrong. Or they get upset. But this doesn't mean people call them Bridezilla. Because they're not. They are event planners. Which is how I have been looking at the day.

And then there is the wedding itself, the meaningful part, the why to the how. And that I have dealt with privately, with a little help from this blog and it's readers. Which is not stressful like event planning, but which is going to change our lives. The party is just the bonus.

And, just for the record, it's not my day. It's our day. And that's the way I intend to keep it.


Marie said...

Okay I'm seriously excited now! And yes everyone is entitled to their bridezilla moments, I think my sister and J bore the brunt of most of mine. Although of course I like to think that I was calm, collected, etc etc and in no way selfish, crazy or any other Bridezilla related behaviour. I'll just keep telling myself that :)

Bells said...

That picture reminds me of Jack Vettriano - in fact I think the bluebird picture is his.

As for the Bridezilla thing - you & Meg are so spot on as ever!
My sister called me that just for trying to book a wedding dress shop and of course defending myself made me feel like the beast! and I’ve still got a whole year of this to go! oh no!
Very excited for you with only two weeks to go – have loved following your journey!

Marie-Ève said...

Completely agree with you...

anna said...

As usual I agree! Bridezilla is such an ugly word.

If it were the groom saying anything he would not be called a groomzilla. If you or I were organising anything without the wedding umbrella we would not be an eventzilla.

Wanting things done the way you want them is not a crime and does not equate to being a bridezilla. Or maybe I am just a giant bridezilla already?!

P.s. I thought it looked like Vettriano too.

Kristy said...

That is so spot on. It really *is* an event to plan, and planning anything this big *is* stressful. There's no way people who do this for a living are all sunshine and lollypops all the time.

Also - that wedding Max shot was gorgeous. As usual.

Cate Subrosa said...

So right. I think "well, event planning can be stressful" would be a great response to a lot of the silly comments brides get thrown their way.